How to write a eulogy for your mum or dad

Writing a eulogy for a parent is one of the hardest things you'll be asked to do, usually with very little time and a lot of grief. You don't have to capture their whole life. You only have to help the people in the room remember them — and you know them better than almost anyone.

Start with three things

Before writing anything, jot down three qualities that made your mum or dad who they were — patient, stubborn, funny, generous. Then find one small, specific memory for each. That's the core of your eulogy.

A gentle structure

1. Introduce yourself — "I'm Helen, Margaret's daughter."
2. A short outline of their life — where they grew up, the work and people that shaped them. Keep it to a minute.
3. The three qualities, each with its memory.
4. What they leave behind — sayings, habits, recipes, the way they made people feel.
5. A goodbye — a word to them directly, or a line they would have said.

Including humour

If your parent was funny, let them be funny one last time. A gentle, affectionate story often brings the room real relief. Follow it with something sincere.

Getting through it

• Print it in a large font with short paragraphs and generous spacing.
• Ask someone to stand nearby who can read it for you if you need to stop.
• Pause whenever you need to. Everyone in the room is on your side.

Example opening

Frequently asked questions

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