How to write a eulogy
If you've been asked to give a eulogy, you're probably grieving and short on time. You don't need to be eloquent. You need to help the people in the room remember the person they've lost — one true story at a time.
A simple structure
- Introduce yourself and your relationship to them.
- A brief outline of their life — where they grew up, the people and work that shaped them. Keep this short.
- Who they were: two or three qualities, each shown through a small, specific memory.
- What they leave behind: the lessons, habits or sayings that live on in the people here.
- A goodbye: a final word to them, or a line they would have loved.
How long should a eulogy be?
Usually three to seven minutes — roughly 400 to 900 words. If several people are speaking, ask the family or celebrant how long you have.
Is it okay to include humour?
Yes, if it fits the person. A gentle, funny memory often brings real relief to a grieving room. Keep it affectionate, and follow it with something sincere.
Getting through it on the day
- Print it in a large font, with short paragraphs.
- Ask someone to stand by who can take over if you need them to. Just knowing they're there helps.
- Pause and breathe whenever you need to. Nobody minds.
Example opening
My grandfather believed every problem could be solved with a cup of tea and a walk around the garden. I didn't understand that until I was much older — that what he was really offering was his time, and his full attention…
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Write my eulogyFrequently asked questions
Can a eulogy be read by someone else?
Yes. If you can't deliver it yourself, it's completely fine to ask the celebrant or a friend to read it for you.
What's the difference between a eulogy and an obituary?
An obituary is a written notice of death and life summary; a eulogy is a personal speech given at the service.